My friend, an invisible beagle by the name of bill (small “b”) travels a great deal, and I enjoy his visits! Recently, I’ve been wondering what it would be like if dogs owned people, and how that turn-a-bout would change things for us two-legged humans. I knew bill would have some insight on this topic, and in a recent conversation he shared his thoughts, and I came away with a laugh or two and a few informal lessons in personal leadership.

If dogs owned people then:

  • we would be taken out for a walk with a plastic bag several times a day. Now, that would be great, as there would be less of a need for a plumber. But, invisible dawgz expect us to do what we need to do on our own. Ah, well, no one to pick up after me!
  • we might be sent to human obedience school, where we’d learn to sit, stay, heel and come on command. We’d save a lot of money on education wouldn’t we? But invisible dawgz accept us for who we are – no formal schooling required.
  • I doubt they would mind if we were spayed or neutered or were a pure or mixed breed. bill didn’t have anything further to add to this.
  • we would learn how to shake hands, roll over, and stand on two legs. Of course that would be easy for us humans – the only question is what kind of treat would they give us to encourage this new behavior. What would you want? Invisible dawgz, however, don’t make people do tricks.
  • we would be known for wagging our tails when happy – imagine the pictures when we were told to say cheese? This invisible beagle didn’t have too much to say about this as he’s never been asked to say cheese.
  • we might be trained for an invisible fence, be constrained in a backyard, or might be expected to travel in a pack. In any case, the dogs would give us boundaries – you know they mark their territory. Invisible dawgz don’t buy into providing boundaries for people, we’d have to figure them out for ourselves
  • we’d be fed once a day in two bowls – one for water and one for food. That would be a huge savings at the grocery store, and we’d save a lot of time doing dishes! But bill figures we can feed ourselves.
  • they might be annoyed that we keep digging up their bones. Invisible dawgz though delight in our curiosity and sense of wonder.

I was also told in no uncertain terms that invisible dawgz can’t be owned – no leashes for them or the humans that walk among them. I once tried to make a leash for bill and failed miserably. No kidding I bought all the materials I thought I would need and set to work one day on the dining room table. I’ve never tried to make a leash again!

If you had an invisible companion, what kind would you choose? What would its name be? Comment below, or tweet me @MKClark150 using #playgrows.

Enjoy the stories, and have a playful day!

– Mary

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